"Retarded": A Medical Diagnosis

Isaiah Washington was more or less fired because of his anti-gay remark on the set of Grey's anatomy. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame will forever be known for his racial attack on African-Americans during one of his comedic performances. Mel Gibson goes to rehab for anti-Semitic slurs. Every news outlet in America and around the world reported these incidents. We live in a world where being "politically correct" is not just an expectation, it is a rule and it is what's right. The Jewish community, African-Americans, gays and other groups have organized themselves and fought a long and difficult social war to free themselves of hurtful labels and prejudice.

So, I have to ask, why do we still use the word "retard" as negative slang, as a word to hurt someone, to call them out as stupid or to describe ourselves when we've done something forgetful or absent-minded? What many don't understand is that the word "retarded" is a real word used to psychologically describe someone with an IQ of less than 70. It's a real diagnosis. It's not some pretend word like "dufus" made up to insult another person.

I don't choose that label for my son. But he is on the medical waiver list with the Department of Mental Retardation. His diagnosis states that he may have "mental retardation". His IEP documents that he has "mental retardation." In these instances, again, while it's not the word I would choose, the word is being used appropriately. And it's being used to describe my sweet boy.

When I hear people use the word in ways that are inappropriate, and believe me, it's quite a bit, it stings a little. But the thing is, I am sure I said it too, before I had the pleasure of loving someone like Louie. And therein lies the problem. We don't become aware of this word and its sometimes painful associations until we find ourselves close to someone labeled "mentally retarded".

It shouldn't surprise us that the word is used as frequently as it is and by people from old to young. Because the people who are labeled as "retarded" aren't going to bring it up. They're not going to say "hey, that actually is my medical diagnosis and it hurts when you use it that way."

So, let's start spreading the word and increase awareness. Soeren Palumbo gets it (beautifully). And so does Katie Couric. We need to do this for ourselves and for the ones that have this diagnosis. We should stop feeling angry and victimized when someone says it. And stop casting the shadow of judgment upon them when they probably mean no harm. And start teaching... show society that it is not acceptable and explain the reason why.

What everyone must understand is that we're talking about a group of people, society calls the "mentally retarded", who cannot, who simply do not have the skills to organize themselves into groups to fight for what is right. In fact, it is this particular group of people who will never harm another person, never insult another person, but who will know simply how to love (maybe not the display of love we typically expect but love nevertheless). It is our social responsibility to help those who cannot help themselves. This is not their fight to fight. Because they can't. It's ours; so let us begin today...